Like how when one thing doesn't really go right, and before you know it, everything starts screwing up and the whole world seems to be going against you?

I'm feeling that way now.

Mass today was atrocious. Terrible. The homily was just silence to me. I don't get it, or rather, I do get why one of the biggest parishes in the east district gets such lousy priests. We get good ones, yes, but only to see them go away to other parishes. I thought Fr.Pat was bad enough, the new priest makes Fr.Pat's homilies look decent, and I'm not even exaggerating. His tone, his delivery, everything was as interesting as listening to a vacuum cleaner droning. He might have delivered the most content heavy and relevant homily, but his delivery is a massive F. I cannot imagine having to sit and listen to either one of these guys every weekend. Not only am I not learning anything, but the thought of just counting down to the last word of each homily is not a good feeling at all. I just feel bored and nonchalant. Maybe it's just me, but if I could listen to Fr.Iggy's and Deacon's homilies, I could safely say it's the fault of these 2.

Then there's life outside.

I don't get it. I really don't. And to a certain extent, I think it's the end. Yeah, making it once was something, and I'd never ever say I regret the second time. But maybe, just maybe, three is a number that is out of reach. I'm not giving up, but I've come to a point where I should just let go. Let go until nothing is left, nothing at all.

It'll send misery sweeping through every atom in me but, well done, I'm letting go, you win.

I lose.