Sunday, February 05, 2006

holla

ok..yeah i am back..
stupid blogger, deleted my previous post...
idiots!!!
and i didnt save a draft either...
damn i shall try to recall whatever that i typed in that post...

oh well...
i think saturday wrapped up my CNY visiting...
went to my dad's friend's house...
not too bad luh..
collected a decent amount of hongbao money and ate alot...
and then went on to play some lightning blackjack...
earned 10bucks in the 2minutes that i played...
kinda lucky...
entered with a triple As, and left with a triple As also....
*shrugs*

but ya...
i missed church too...
hmmmmph....miss my g2 already...
what if i happen to screw my Os, and kill myself on friday!!!
i wont ever see them again...
=(
*sob sob*

and ya...
i realised i changed alot too...
i read all my blog entries...everything, from the day i started blogging to the last post...
i realised something...
2005 was so fun and interesting despite the Os...
but 2006 is just one 360 degree turn...
i dont know why...
2005 both school and my everyday life was fun...
now, both equally suck big time!

why?
TPJC?

i dont know...
i cant blame everything on the institution as that would sound so stupid...
but ya...
i went to look at the mirror and 'smiled' at myself...
the reflection however should more than what i displayed on my face...

the word 'forced' embalzoned on my smile....
the word 'sad' found in every line of my face...
and the emptiness in my eyes( and NO its not cause i changed to contacts or anything)
but ya...
i just somehow changed...

i forgot how to smile and really mean it...

i forgot how to enjoy life and wave away everything with a 'que sera sera'...

i just seemed to have lost every bit of persona that i had for 16 years...

...i want my old self back...

*searching for a lost soul*

hmmmmm, okay that was the 'lost' post...

anyway, today went church cause i missed yesterday's mass...
then after that i met zach sum and went to orchard road to do some shopping...
well, i wanted to buy clothes..
while zach wanted to look around for valentine's presents...
well, he had alot of ideas la...
though half of them were ruined by the end of the day...
met derrick at orchard and more or less just roamed around...

takashimaya, wisma, far east, heeren, cineleisure, plaza singpapura, bugis, tangs, pacific plaza... we went all round the place...
in the end all i bought was some surf shorts and a topman tee...
zach bought one lil' teddy..
and derrick got a new board'game'.. a rather cheeky one also...
shant go into details...

yup...
results on friday huh?
DARN
i wanted it to come out tomorrow...
well, either way the results wont change...
BAD results wont change i mean...
i am so so dead...
better start choosing suicide spots...

ok...i am off....

Mumbled @ {10:07 PM}
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